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May 2010
The first was from a distant cousin whom I had only recently gotten to know. She and her husband had been transferred to a much smaller community, and they were so disappointed in some of the things they were seeing and hearing there. Two of their children were in elementary grades, and to quote the third grader, “They’re so grumpy at the school!” My cousin went on to express that the other children’s parents, for the most part, were disrespectful and rude to their own children. “I’ve heard so many parents telling their children to ‘shut up!’ or ‘sit down!’ “What is a mother to do?” My suggestion: You can never tell your children too many times that you love them. Our responsibility as parents is to be their protectors, their providers and their encouragers. All children are going to witness events of which we, as parents, do not approve. Discuss the event with them if it troubles them, and provide opportunities that are more in line with what you deem important as a parent. The second contact was even more disturbing. It came from a young man we have known for several years and who once served as a pastor of a church. We recently called to catch up on things, and he informed us that he and his wife had divorced. He then asked if I would be willing to read something on which he had been working. Later that day, in a lengthy email, he told his life story of no father, a working mother and a male “friend” of his mother who moved into their home when he was 11. At first, it looked like he might have a father figure like all of his friends. But such was not the case. Years of sexual abuse, alcohol consumption and introduction to drugs followed. School became a blur; weekend trips with the “dad” in his life turned into nightmares. I read his story and wept. How many children sitting in our classrooms today are going through similar things? I read a statistic in his story that estimates one in six children is sexually abused. Horrifying! This young man is still recovering from these troubling events, and I have no idea whether or not he will ever fully recover. Quite frankly, I didn’t know what to say to him, except that we love him and his family, and we will always be there to listen, to encourage and to pray for him. Finally, I received an email from a young man who said he would be passing through our little Central Texas town of Hamilton and would like to stop by to visit. “I’ve created a video that I want you to see,” he wrote. “I heard you speak in San Antonio, and you made me realize that it’s not about me or the school or the parents. It’s about the kids.” So, on a spring day, he arrived at our home in the country. The birds were singing and the wildflowers were blooming. The world seemed like such a good place. And as I watched his video, I couldn’t help but be grateful that this young man was determined to be someone who helped others realize that “it’s about the kids.” His video showed bright-eyed youngsters smiling and enjoying the security of a classroom without danger. And yet, behind those smiles, you wondered if their worlds outside the classroom were ones of fear, of abuse, of mistreatment. Because we cannot be certain of what happens when they’re out of our classrooms. Our roles as teachers and administrators parallel those of parents. We are protectors, providers and encouragers. Because everything that we do in our schools should be — must be — about the kids. RINEY JORDAN, whose best-selling book, "All the Difference," is now in its sixth printing, is an international speaker and humorist. He can be reached at riney@htcomp.net or by visiting www.rineyjordan.com |
Don’t you appreciate it when others confide in you? Isn’t it a huge responsibility to be asked for your advice in a situation? In just a matter of a few days, I received three such requests.