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November/December 2009
As the annual spelling bee came to a close in Mr. Lowe’s sixth grade classroom, I was suddenly aware that there were only two of us left in the competition. It was either going to be me or Fielding Early, who just happened to be the smartest kid I had ever met. And at that very moment, I panicked. Thoughts raced through my mind faster than a locomotive. What? Me and Fielding Early? I don’t have a prayer! “Cloud,” the pronouncer said as he turned in my direction. “Your word is cloud.” “Cloud?” I repeated. “That’s correct. Cloud.” This is too easy! Cloud? You’ve got to be kidding! “Can you give me the definition?” I heard myself saying. A few snickers were heard at the back of the room. The pronouncer glanced toward the snickering bunch as he calmly said, “A visible body of very fine water droplets or ice particles suspended in the atmosphere at altitudes ranging up to several miles.” I heard him right then. Too easy! “C…L…U…O…D!” I announced with all the authority in the world. Ding! What? There must be some mistake! Didn’t they hear me right? The word went to Fielding Early. “Cloud,” he repeated. “I won’t be needing a definition.” Snickers from most of the students. “It’s C…L…O…U…D.” “Mr. Early, you are our champion. Congratulations!” To this day, I cringe every time I hear that word. Would you like to know the word most commonly misspelled by high school students? It’s their, followed by too and receive. There is the fourth most commonly misspelled word. And how many times have we spelled “all right” as “alright”? Then there are those times when the word is spelled correctly, but you think it’s incorrect. For example, I was a young radio announcer still in high school when the secretary brought me an item to read on the air. Into the microphone I stammered: “I’ve been asked to announce that someone has lost a little, brown … uh … uh … chi-who-a-who-a. If you know the whereabouts of this little creature, call 555-1234.” When I concluded with the announcement, the secretary stepped back into the control room and politely said, “Riney, what did you just call that lost animal?” “A ‘chi-who-a-who-a.’ Is that some sort of little monkey or something from South America?” “It’s chihuahua. And it’s a little dog.” To which I replied, “Well, you should have spelled it correctly with some ‘Ws’ in there.” I discovered my favorite misspelling only a few days ago while driving in the little town of Hamilton where we live. As I came to a stop sign, I noticed that someone had written a message on it with what appeared to be white shoe polish. It read: “Your a lozer.” What I would have given to catch the individual who wrote that. I’d let him know that if he is going to be a representative of the kind of education our public schools are providing, the least he could do is learn the difference between your and you’re and spell his graffiti correctly! Whether or not the person who wrote the graffiti is a loser remains a mystery, but I am sure he is not a “lozer.” And that is “alright” with me! RINEY JORDAN, whose best-selling book, "All the Difference," is now in its sixth printing, is an international speaker and humorist. He can be reached at riney@htcomp.net or by visiting www.rineyjordan.com |
