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What did I ever do?
By Riney Jordan
 While visiting the local hardware store, I asked the lady clerk how her two grandsons were doing. She was raising them herself, and I had gotten to know the boys through my grandson. She said they were doing fine and then began telling me this story.
“When I was first married, I wanted a child more than anything in the world. I would have done almost anything to have a baby. An adoption agency offered me a beautiful baby girl, and I quickly agreed to adopt her,” the lady clerk recalled. “However, it wasn’t too many years before I realized that she had some serious emotional problems.”
She then began relating how her adopted daughter, once she became a teenager, started running with the wrong crowd. Before long, her daughter was pregnant; she had the baby and almost immediately resumed to staying out late, coming home intoxicated and using drugs. Soon, she had another baby, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from going out and having a good time.
“You raise ‘em,” she told her mother.
“So, I’ve had them ever since,” the clerk said. “I love those two little boys, and now they call me ‘Mom.’”
As she continued, I learned that the mother’s whereabouts were usually not known.
“When she’s in jail is about the only time we know where she is,” she said. “But this past weekend, something happened that I will never allow to happen again.”
A look of determination crossed her face. It seems that the boys’ birth mom had called and wanted to talk to the younger one.
“He was smiling and beaming from ear to ear when he hung up the phone. His mom had told him that she would be by on Saturday to pick him up and take him to a movie. She would do the same thing later for the older one. She wanted to spend some time with her boys.
“He was ecstatic!” the lady clerk said.
On Saturday morning, the 6-year-old was up early. He got dressed, combed his hair and waited anxiously for his mom to arrive. I know you know what happened next — or I should say, didn’t happen.
He sat there, looking out the window. Around noon, he realized that she wasn’t going to be there.
“He cried the rest of the day,” the grandmother said. “He came over at one point, crawled up into my lap and said, ‘What did I ever do to make my mom hate me so much?’”
Like most children, he assumed it was his fault. He took the blame for his circumstances.
“I assured him that it wasn’t anything he had done, and then I held him for the longest time,” the clerk said.
I gave her a hug and spoke softly in her ear.
“Thank you for loving those boys and making such a positive difference in their lives,” I told her.
Oh, my. What some parents do to children! It’s almost unthinkable, almost unimaginable, isn’t it? Yet, as educators and parents, we know that it happens. Every day, somewhere, children are being ignored, punished, hurt, neglected, abused, shamed. Oh, the list is endless.
And for that reason, if for no other, we have a responsibility, an obligation, to do everything in our power to see that the students we serve are loved, cared for and made to feel secure. TAKS may be important, but nothing is more important to a child’s development than TIME. This year, more than ever, focus on the child. Bring joy and comfort to those children who are hurting. I promise that it will be the most productive year you’ve ever had as an educator.
RINEY JORDAN, whose best-selling book, “All the Difference,” is now in its fifth printing, is an international speaker and humorist. He can be reached at riney@htcomp.net or by visiting www.rineyjordan.com.
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